As you may or may not know, I write a lot of columns dedicated to being a mother. As a mother of 5 (almost 6) kids, it is what I live, so it is something that comes naturally for me to write about.
I have written about all sorts of experiences and lessons I have learned. In all of my articles, I do my very best to be very sensitive to all mothers and all situations, and I rarely complain. If I ever do, it is in a joking manner. I am really so, so grateful to be able to be a mother.
However, each time I write a column that is even remotely on the complaining side, I get a flood of emails from women who are unable to bear children, telling me that I am ungrateful and that I should never complain about having children. I have even been told that I need to write about infertility; something I am not experienced enough to write about.
I always feel bad when I get emails like this, and second guess what I am doing as a mother. I wonder if I am a bad mom, or if I am not being grateful. Still, as rewarding as it is, being a mom is a difficult job.
Last November, my family had a very difficult thing happen to us. I had a miscarriage. Next to losing my older sister nearly 7 years ago, this was really one of the most difficult things I ever went through.
I wrote about it here. I got overwhelming support from women, and it really helped me to get through it. However, I did have some people who I was close to, who knew that I already had 5 healthy children, say things like, “looks like it’s your turn,” or “welcome to the club.” Those remarks never helped, and really made me feel like there was a “club” and that there was a definite line drawn between fertile women and those who had difficulty.
So, I had the thought that I would write about the flip side of infertility. This was probably my most stressful article yet and one I have read over and over again. I submitted it and got good encouragement from my editor.
Today, however, I felt sick to my stomach. I knew it was set to publish today, and even went as far as to see if I could have it removed before it went on line. Well, it is up, and I am so scared to read the comments.
I want all readers to know that I took careful consideration with it, and meant no offense. My hope was to bring all of us together. I hope I was able to do that.
Here is the article. I welcome any thoughts.