Well, it’s been a while since I actually “blogged.” My last one was an article that I wrote for our local newspaper, that didn’t make it on line…or at least I couldn’t find it….Which brings me to why I haven’t blogged so much lately.
I have been privileged to be able to write columns for a couple of the newspapers out here in Utah, as well as some online news websites. I have loved, loved, loved being able to do it. I can’t believe I get to write…and get paid for it. So nuts!
I am an over-explainer by nature, and my mind is always going a million miles an hour. Being able to get my mish-mosh of thoughts down, and have people actually like it, and ask me to keep doing it, is mind-boggling, but I am so grateful.
Here are some links to some of my articles:
Things people say to a frazzled mom, but shoudn’t
The things a busy mom is thankful for
Embracing your child’s natural gifts
As far as running goes, I am still keeping it up through the cold winter months. Lately, though, it has taken on more of a calming and meditation need for me. As most of my friends and family already know, I miscarried our 6th child a couple of weeks ago.
We have been wanting to add another one for a while, now, but the timing just hasn’t been right. We finally decided it was time, and decided a month prior to me running the Marathon, that we would begin trying again. We figured that a summer baby would work best for us, being that we are both teachers, and we wanted time to get used to a new baby, before starting work again. Adam and I were also planning on running the St. George Marathon together in October, and though that this would give us enough time to train.
True to my history, it took no time at all to happen. I found out shortly after the marathon, that I was expecting, but suspected much sooner. (Right away, I get a little bloat of a belly that just won’t go down…kind of annoying).
We were so excited. The kids had been asking for a while, now about having a new baby, and we just couldn’t wait to tell them. I wanted to wait a little longer to tell the world, aka “facebook,” but my cute husband posted the most precious poem by AA Milne, entitled “Now we are six,” and it was just the perfect way to announce. I couldn’t be mad at him.
Things were going great. I have never gotten sick during pregnancies, and this one was proving to be the same. I was able to keep up my regular running regiment, which I had done through all 5 of my pregnancies. Everything was looking good.
At 9 weeks, I woke up to something not right, and after a roller-coaster of a week, I miscarried.
This was heartbreaking, traumatic…everything you could possibly think of. As luck wold have it, I had an article due the next morning. As you can imagine, I couldn’t think of anything else to write about. So, at 4 am, after a hard night, I got up, and just started writing down my feelings. Less than an hour later, this is what I came up with.
Knowing that I needed to get it in, I submitted it to my editor. I told her that if she gave me a couple more days, I could come up with something else, but she said that it was important to publish.
I have never been more nervous for an article to come out. I was exposing some of my inner most thoughts, at one of the most terrible times of my life, and thousands were now going to read it. Not only that, but I knew that I wasn’t the only one who had ever experienced this, and I really didn’t want to be the one who got all the pitty, when so many other women have experienced this, and much more.
When it came out, I was flooded with emails of women who had experienced miscarriages. So many wrote me their stories, and thanked me for writing mine. I have never felt so much support and love from strangers and friends alike. What a wonderful world we live in.
Yes, this trial has been extremely hard, and I can’t say that I am over it…or that I will be any time soon, but I have learned so much in the short amount of time. I now more fully, value life. I am so grateful for the children I am so blessed to have, and know even more, what a miracle they are.
This has been an especially important lesson, as we are entering the Christmas season…and yes, I said “Christmas.” I believe in Jesus Christ, and know that through Him, I am able to be who I am, what I am, and experience what I do. And without Him, this trial, and all trials would not be conquerable.
May we all hug our loved ones more, and realize more fully, the many gifts we have been blessed with.
If I don’t blog between now and then, have a Merry Christmas!
I cannot begin to tell you how I feel and don’t know what to say. All I can say is I will not let your experience go wasted in my life and love people in my life. And for that, I thank you very much, Arrianne. Merry Christmas to you, too.