You know that you have a somewhat, stand-out-ish trait, when in the space of just over a week, you get 5 comments about it, two of which are from total strangers. And as you can probably guess from the title of this post, that I am referring to my calves.
I have huge calves! In high school, kids would tell me I had Popeye calves. It never hurt my feelings or anything, it just made me more aware. It was actually kind of a nuisance. I was constantly spiking myself in races because they were always in the way. I would get cramps in them, and would always need them to be rubbed out. And skinny jeans! Forget about it! They tapered way too much at the bottom. I remember watching a “True Life” episode on MTV, where some guy wanted to have calf implants. I thought he was nuts!
Funny thing, though, when I met Adam, one of the first things that I noticed was that he didn’t have very big calves. It was something I liked…the grass is always greener, I guess ;). He does have huge biceps, which more than makes up for his lack of calvage.
I went for a long time, though, without anyone saying anything about mu calves, but this week changed everything. For some reason or another, I have had a lot of comments about them, and some have actually been kind of funny. I thought I’d share, just for the fun of it…
While at the park with my kids, I heard a man yelling, “hey, I know you!” I turned around and it was a dad I knew from one of my kid’s soccer teams. He said, “I knew I recognized you…” (Me, thinking it must be the blonde hair, or the fact that I had 5 little kids hanging on me)…”those calves! I could spot those from a mile away!”
How do you react to a statement like that? ESPECIALLY when it is a man…um, a little awkward. Was this meant to be a compliment…a put down…was he hitting on me? I really didn’t know. I just smiled, and made a joke of my “Popeye” calves.
The next day, I was dropping something off for Adam, and a co-worker of his said, “holy calves!” Then she started talking about them….At this point, I’m contemplating never wearing shorts again.
Then, we went on a family vacation to Pagosa Springs, CO, where we hiked to see some waterfalls. We had a family picture taken, which I posted on facebook. I had to stand on my toes a little, which made it so that I had to flex one of my calves. There was a comment where a friend of mine asked if she could have some of my calve muscle when I was done using it. I just laughed and laughed! 🙂 I am beginning to think that I have a major abnormality!
Then, I went for a run with a friend, where she mentioned something about them, in a very complimentary way, but still, an unsolicited comment about my calves, yet again.
Finally…and this is the best one: That same day, I went to the store. I was in the produce department, minding my own business, when a lady asked, “what do you do to keep in shape?” I have gotten that same type of question before, but it is usually when I have my kids with me, and they are referring to baby weight, etc. Since I didn’t have my kids with me this time, I was really wondering where she was going with this…But when I heard her say, “those calves! I’ve been noticing them the whole time you’ve been here!” I just had to laugh. The way she was talking about them was cause enough for her husband and other bystanders, to come around behind me to take a look at them. They even asked me to flex! How weird is that? What would you do?!
I am not a showy person, and really don’t like to be the center of attention, so this was really uncomfortable form me. I kind of felt like freak of nature. It was really strange. I was polite, and let them have a look, and then weirdly, continued my shopping, all the while, feeling that everyone was staring at my freakishly large calves.
Since I can’t have my readers’ imaginations go to some terrible distortion of what actually is, here is a picture. You judge for yourselves…;)
**Wearing my Unshoes again. Best footwear EVER!